She may not like living in the United States anymore but Barbra Streisand’s going to love Peterborough.
Miley Cyrus and Spike Lee, too!
Not only are American celebrities sucking on sour election grapes welcome in the Ontario city famous for hockey players, but local radio station EXTRA 90.5 FM will pay for the move to ease their pain.
Peterborough is readying itself for a Hollywood migration.
“Recent events in the USA have led to a flood of celebrities indicating the need for them to flee to Canada as a result of Donald Trump being elected president of the United States,” says the station’s web page. “The offer is open to any celebrity. A-lister, B-lister, even low-level C-list reality stars — regardless, of age, race or sexual orientation — can apply to be sponsored by EXTRA 90.5.”
“EXTRA 90.5 FM is helping lead the evacuation of unhappy, displaced actors, actresses or musicians,” adds General Manager Rob Mise. “We’re offering any celebrity wanting to leave the USA a first-class, one-way flight to Canada.”
They will also help them with lodging and provide the newcomers with coveted Peterborough Petes tickets, too.
Over to you Whoopi Goldberg!
How about you Cher, Al Sharpton, Bryan Cranston, Eddie Griffin, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer and Jon Stewart?
It would be fun to have a beer with Samuel L. Jackson at the Black Horse Pub and then stumble over to Rileys after a pit stop at the Ashburnham Ale House.
Every star is welcome — well, except for one.
“We know it’s not easy being famous, living in a free country, and not liking the President-elect,” EXTRA host Jordan Mercier said on the air. “Our hearts go out to them. We’re happy to open our homes and wallets to help these inconvenienced stars.”
Interjected co-host Colin Teskey: “Just not Lena Dunham.”
Maybe she can get down to Mexico before the wall is built.
But for those who are welcome, they are going to love Donald Trump-less Peterborough, which boasts the best cottage life anywhere to go with an abundance of pristine, green space the superstars will want to help preserve.
Pretty soon that could be Rosie O’Donnell tobogganing down snow-packed Armour Hill. I’d pay to see Michael Moore fly down on a Canadian-made sled, too.
If they make it through the winter, maybe some of the musicians can partake in a free concert during Peterborough’s famous Musicfest at Del Crary Park. Local star Serena Ryder performed last summer so you can see the city’s talent level.
Maybe Sebastian Bach of Skid Row fame — who grew up in the Electric City — will pop by for a jam?
Sounds like a funny promotional idea, but Mise says this is more than a radio prank — like the famous free funeral giveaway they did a few years back.
“We’re serious about this. It’s not a joke,” he said. “We want to see how many of them are serious?”
They will have their privacy, too. No one will bother them for autographs on George St. They are not the Peterborough royalty of hockey after all — like Corey Perry, Scotty Bowman, Steve Yzerman or Bob Gainey.
But the city on the Trent River, specifically EXTRA 90.5, is happy to help sponsor these new refugees — a brilliant, not-so-subtle dig at the lack of respect from Americans who benefit the most from their country but love it only under their terms.
“How many will be true to their word, especially where their political world got turned upside down?” said Mise. “How many of these stars will make good on their promise?”
So far, no takers.
Stay tuned because there are not many places in this world as special as Peterborough — with or without some sore losers from the United States.